"they have dragons"

A woman at work was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I stepped in to see her, and said “Welcome to my club.” She said she didn’t want to be in my club. I told her I understood that and we hugged.

When you find out that you have breast cancer it is amazing how quickly you learn who else in your world has or has had breast cancer. It’s like a Doppler radar picture rippling out throughout your own 6 degrees of separation. While the numbers are alarming and sobering, they are also comforting. There’s a bunch of survivors out there.

And we help each other. I spent an hour on the phone last night with my roommate from the surgery. We compared notes about numb armpits and spent a lot of time laughing as well. Misery does love company after all.

There seems to be an unwritten, but intrinsically understood rule among cancer survivors: they must share. They must pay the story of their survival forward. Who better to pass on the precious flame that is hope? The American Cancer Society understands this very well. In their Cancer Recovery program they partner new “inductees” with survivors who seem to be trained in the exactly perfect time to call.

Here’s the thing though. Cancer is an equal opportunity employer; it has no problem meeting diversity quotas, but it is also careful to give each of its employees a unique experience. So there are no blanket assurances. You can’t say, “There won’t be any nausea at all!” All you can say is “I didn’t have any nausea!” And even knowing that each body handles these treatments in a different way, it is still reassuring and comforting to hear that this person at least had no trouble.

It’s a little like when Harry Potter was in the Tri-wizard Tournament and warned Cedric that one of the trials was going to be dragons. He couldn’t tell Cedric what to do about the dragon--they each had a different kind-- but just knowing about the dragon certainly helped.